is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
