Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
