"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So squirting runs in the family.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
