Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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