He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
