I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The adults are the big ones right?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
