"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She bit a glass in half.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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