new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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