i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
