are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
