he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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