Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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