she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
