Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
