none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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