Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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