Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
