my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
