hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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