a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
