Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
