watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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