what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
