Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
