That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
