god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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