Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
