sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Still dying that you shit outside
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize