my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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