I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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