stop calling my apartment porn island.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
