I hate all girls vehemently.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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