btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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