Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize