Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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