I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
