You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
