My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
