shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
