This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
