I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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