I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
