did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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