My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
MIDGETS
????
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
