I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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