There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize