i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
