an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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