the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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