I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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