She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
