I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
