What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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