He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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