pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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