did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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