How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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